If seeing is believing, then visualization is the secret to success.
That is why things like representation matters. We believe our own success is possible when we see others like us achieve it. If it is possible for them, then it is possible for me.
But when we fail, deep down inside we can’t help ignoring that there always existed the possibility we were kidding ourselves.
We don’t really believe what is possible for us just because we see the similarities in ourselves to those who have succeeded. Maybe we didn’t have enough money, time, or opportunities, etc. In fact, the more incredible or bizarre the success story, the more excuses we find not to trust what we see. When we are asked to solely rely on our eyes to believe what is possible, it doesn’t automatically translate into success.
That’s because we need more than external proof to have an airtight feeling of certainty.
We can’t just see it to believe it. We also need to feel it.
Years ago while traveling through Rishiskesh, I signed up for an Ashtanga yoga class.
I wasn’t the most flexible by far, but I learned to believe that if I practiced long enough, eventually, I’d become flexible enough to do all the poses. All I had to do was look around the yoga studio and I could see the proof with my eyes.
Eight of us that morning stood in two rows facing one another as we began our sun salutes. When we got to the binding poses I could see the girl in front of me easily reach through her leg and clasp her hands together. I, on the other hand, sat there sweating with no hope for my outstretched fingertips to even touch each other. In my mind I believed that one day they would, but in that moment I questioned whether it would be in this lifetime.
I resigned myself to the conclusion that success, like most things in life, depends on more than just belief.
Surely, I recognized that progress happens. I peaked around and saw one or two others, who had been in my current predicament a couple weeks earlier, were now much closer to achieving the pose. They must have been true believers, unlike me.
Each of us was aware of the possibilities, but the reason I couldn’t get my fingers to interlock was because of the huge crack in the foundation of my belief.
While I focused on my weak interpretation of the yoga pose, the instructor went from one student to another, making vigorous adjustments.
Without saying a word he forcefully sat me up taller. Then he twisted me further into the pose. Next, he grabbed the hand around my back and placed it firmly in the palm of the other reaching through my leg.
I was shocked.
My spine had cracked and my fingers were now interlocked for the first time ever. The instructor hadn’t just brought the tips of my fingers close enough to brush up against each other. I was fully in the pose like the girl smiling in front of me.
I realized at that moment I never wholeheartedly believed that I could do it. There was a gap between where I was and where I wanted to be and simply telling myself that I could wasn’t going to bridge that divide.
One of the most important life lesson that yoga taught me was this.
We are far more capable than we think we are.
It sounded like a cliche yoga phrase everyone says to offer encouragement. No matter how often I repeated those words to myself, my fingers never got closer. It wasn’t until I experienced it for myself did I know without a doubt it was true.
I still can’t clasp my hands together in that pose without help, but I get closer every time. The difference now is that I am certain it’s going to happen in this lifetime.
Now, I truly believe I am capable of the success I see in others. You will come to believe it when you are fortunate enough to feel it, too.